Copywriting case study · Spec project
A live independent postnatal doula site had a genuine, caring voice — and copy that made it hard to find what she actually offered. Here's how I rebuilt the page around what a tired new parent needs to read first.
This is an unsolicited spec project, not client work. The business has been anonymized — created to demonstrate my approach to birth and women's health copywriting.
The original page had real warmth and real expertise. But the structure worked against both — hiding the offer under links, asides, and run-on sentences before a reader ever got to what she does or what it costs.
Dense paragraphs with no headers or breaks. Everything reads at the same weight, so nothing stands out.
Services, pricing, and contact info don't appear until the very end — after three outbound links to other people's sites.
A reader has to hunt for how to actually book, with no CTA guiding them there.
The warmth is genuine, but "&"-heavy run-ons and rambling asides dilute it instead of letting it land.
Same information, same warmth — reordered so the reader gets what they need in the first ten seconds, not the last.
"So many people still don't know about Postnatal Doulas! ... As a Postnatal Doula my role is to nurture & care for the new mother or birthing person. I am there to listen, hold the space, support, encourage, talk too, feed & facilitate self-care & sleep..."
Three external links to other sites appear before any mention of services or price. Pricing and contact details are the last two lines on the page.
Bringing you meals, quiet company, and a steady hand while you find your feet.
£30/hr (plus travel) · one-off visits £45–£80
A sleep-deprived parent scanning this page needs to know what she does and what it costs in the first few lines — not after three links elsewhere.
The original folded six distinct offerings into one paragraph. Breaking them into a list lets a tired reader take it in at a glance.
The voice — nurturing, unhurried — is the whole appeal of hiring a doula. I preserved it while removing filler asides and "&"-stacked sentences.
A single, direct CTA at the end, instead of contact details tucked in as an afterthought.